nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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tired wanderings

I so don't want to be awake right now--I've slept a max of 4 hours yet my body is awake. Can't say much for my mind :P but then that's nothing new. It's cold, rainy and frozen outside right now. I'm listening to the most melancholy tunes in the world right now, and contemplating my life. We all do this occasionally, right? Do an introspective self-evaluation. I'm at a cusp right now, things I know need to change but trying to figure out what they need to change to is causing me some ...uncertainty. I've never been one to be afraid of being alone, or to be afraid of changing. It's just that I like to know what I'm changing TO before I undergo that sort of..metamorphasis. Control freak? Maybe. I think it's a comfort thing though. Dunno. My brain is starting to hurt..or maybe it's just my head.

On a lighter note, I've begun an email conversation. Random. Strange. And kind of cool. It's still in it's newborn stages, but who knows where it'll lead? I enjoy beginnings much more than endings.

Work tonight..more horny cops who remember their manners half the time,and their impatience always. At least my coworker is tolerable--we actually get along which makes the night fly. It's just unfortunate that she's old enough to be my mother :P why I can't get along with women my own age will be a mystery to me forever.

I think I'm going to go curl up on the couch with my boys and listen to the rain fall. No better solace on a murky day than cuddles and hugs.

7:51 a.m. - 2003-01-02

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