nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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I'm with you.

Is it a shortcoming within myself that resists turning to the people I have around me when I'm depressed or just even bothered? Or does it say something about the people I'm around?

Or perhaps it's my history haunting me and a lack of trust pervading my relationships still. I think it's more that I don't want to be a bother or a burden to anyone and I feel like telling someone my feelings would be bringing them down with me. Uselessly.

Right, wrong, indifferent..that's how I feel. Maybe I just need to get over that part of me.

So I just deal with it, immerse myself in music and my sons, and put up my facade and pretend that I'm peachy, at least until I AM peachy again. I think it's just that I tend to overanalyze everything and pick it apart until I have myself confused and off balance..and feeling a little lost.

It's better to just color everything in bright colors.

Beautiful rain again. Trees are doin' the shimmyshake. Drips and drops of staccato rain. My wee beasties have all taken cover:the groundhogs and cardinals, squirrels and runnybabbits.

There's enough of a chill for a sweater but not a jacket. Gorgeous.

Not much to do with meself today..for once there's nothing pressing I need to accomplish. Will wonders never cease.

I think I need to hide for awhile.

I'm off to play goofy Playstation 2 games.

N.

9:42 a.m. - 2003-05-05

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