nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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Not tonight..

"Oh god it's raining and I'm not containing my pleasure at being so wet."

It's poured to the degree the rain gutters in the street are overflowing and pouring massive amounts of water into the streets. Cars driving are splattering passerby with large amounts of water. It was actually entertaining to watch the college students on the sidewalks today dodging the showers.

Work last night..the mother of the twins who died in that fire? They have a recorded statement from her wherein she admits she's gotten "tired of being a mother" and that she held the babies faces into her shoulder until they passed out then laid them down in their bed. She figured that when they started breathing again, they'd inhale the smoke and die without waking up.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And while trying to fall asleep last night, my mind churned with thoughts on this entire situation. Is this a product of a broken down children's welfare system? This family had been investigated by the Dept of Children's services prior to this happening and been found to be marginally off. What cave has this girl lived in that she isn't aware that there are programs in place to help young mothers feeling overwhelmed? Or that there are a gazillion people in the world who would willingly adopt those babies and let her stop "being tired"?? As a woman who has raised children alone, and as a mother, it's inconceivable to me that she would think it more humane and acceptable to asphyxiate her children and possibly let them burn than to hand them over to people who want to and can properly care for them.

Grr..

And so my mindset today has ranged from sleepy (didn't even want to crawl out of bed this morning) to perky (outrightly laughing at the drenched grumpy people) to ho-hum ( I need to get moving and get things done.)

I'll be back this afternoon.

N.

11:31 a.m. - 2003-05-09

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