nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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disjointed as hell

mmmm..so maybe it isn't OCD. Maybe it was good old fashioned PMS. I'm tired and my back is killing me and I'm mildly crampy. God, I love being a woman. And I don't mean that facetiously. I truly do. If there comes a day where my female parts (any of them) need to be removed, I think that will be a sad day for me. It wouldn't end my femaleness but it sure might feel like it.

I love the fact that we can nurture our children with our bodies, and that in spite of the mess and ouch that comes with it, we have the ability to bear them. I was never happier than when I was pregnant. I'm quite content being the more tender of the species, the more emotional, but not what I qualify as the weaker. I'm a hella strong lady, even on the days I don't think I'm so strong and I revel in being female.

Onto other things also related to being female: news from work today had me in tears. One of our canine units, my favorite, is being put down tomorrow. "Ronnie" has been with our department for almost 7 years and for the couple that I've been here, has been an amazing addition. Jovial and incredibly professional (some will laugh at that, and some will understand) all at the same time, this dog has done some amazing things. And it saddens me to see the pain he's feeling, and to know that today for him was just another day, with no knowledge it's his last full one with us. They took a picture of him with his badge, and are preparing a spot on grounds for him to be buried. Anyone who's worked in the sort of place I do, and has been around these dogs knows that they live, eat and breathe their training. He'll be remembered fondly.

I'm going to take a hot shower and crawl into bed. My body is beat and so is my soul. I need a recharge.

G'nite.

N.

p.s. Someone I chat with had surgery today. Hopefully they came out ok. Keepin' my fingers crossed here!

11:52 p.m. - 2003-05-29

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