nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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last day of school

Today is Trev and Ry's last day of school. Looking back, I remember my last days...I remember thinking I had days and days of time to do nothing but play. I remember thinking I could sleep as much as I liked. As I got older, I remember thinking how much money I was going to make, being able to work more than just after school.

Sometimes I just wondered where the next school year would find me. And sometimes I just really wished it weren't over, because school was a vacation from the insanity at home.

I remember how fast the first parts of summer vacation would fly, and then how slowly the latter half would drag. I remember riding my bike and fishing and swimming and being outside as much as was humanly possible. It was during the summers that my older brother would sometimes come back to visit and during the summers he taught me which trees were which, how to build a tree fort, how to take the tail ends off lightning bugs so that they still would glow. It was also summers that my bio-dad would take me for visitation and drop me off at my grandparents. I remember the smell of old dusty musty books, and the feel of Grandpa's plush overstuffed chair. I remember helping my Grandmother make grape jelly and the weiner dogs they had and how they made me go to Catholic church every Sunday. I remember smelling whiskey on my granddad's breath and the sticky feel of the sap from the tree I climbed the most. And Gram's Tupperware sales stuff everywhere, and the muttered conversations so unlike fights that it lulled me off to sleep easily.

I remember days spent in the library, cooled by the air conditioning and scented with books and understated librarian's perfume. So quiet and still, it was my church of choice.

I wonder what the boys are envisioning when they think of their upcoming summer. I'll have to remember to ask them.

N.

8:45 a.m. - 2003-06-04

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