nixtress's Diaryland Diary
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wow this got long
Oh what a cruddy day. It's not even nine yet and that's my mantra. Last night ended on a not-so-great note, and while I won't go into details, it caused me to sleep not-so-great as well.
I was asked what Ryan's teacher had done, and I'll try to keep this as factual as possible without letting my dislike of this woman flow too strongly.
Let me begin by explaining my Ry is a fairly bright kid. He had 2 years of preschool and during those 2 years, the teachers never once mentioned behavioral or learning problems, and were constantly remarking how bright he was, and how quickly he picked everything up. AGAIN, not once in those 2 years did anyone! mention any sort of problems with Ry other than the fact that he was a charmer.
Teacher began before school even started by telling me that she felt I was pushing Ry too hard and that putting him in kindergarten at his age (just having turned 5 July 28th 2002) was a mistake. She hadn't even met him yet. And based on his preschool performance and his kindergarten-readiness evaluation and testing, it was recommended that I should start him. After school started, within the first week, she began sending reports home in the vein of Ryan having learning difficulties, and possible disabilities. I am not one of those parents who's going to claim my kids are perfect and can do no wrong. And honestly, if there's a problem, it's better to uncover it, accept it, and begin the process of helping that child. I've been there with Trevor, and am more than willing to do what needs to be done so that my kiddo can prosper in his schooling. Conference time came, and I asked for details as to what was concerning her, or what would make her feel Ry was lagging academically and she had no examples. The school's system of discipline is a card system--pull a different color of card for whatever infraction of the rules. A certain color card means a call home, or a note, or a trip to the principal. Ry was getting cards pulled daily. And when I asked her for what, her reply was that she had 50 kids through the space of a day and didn't have time to keep track of each one. Yet she's complaining my son is such a problem and is a disruption to the class. I'd think his behaviors would stick out a little. Midway through the school year, she was still complaining that Ryan was holding the class back and that academically, his performance was very weak. She also said his "readiness skills" were lacking. (Readiness skills for kindergarten? I'm confused!) At the second conference, she changed her tune. Suddenly, Ryan was doing wonderfully academically, top of his class, but he had behavioral problems. She felt he was very immature and might need to repeat kindergarten. Teacher felt that he had some major issues behaviorally. Again, I asked for examples of what were causing her concerns, and once again was answered with the "50 kids and can't be expected to keep track of it all" answer. I also questioned why I hadn't been notified when he was having these problems behaviorally daily and once again she says that's not part of her job. (yet, I'm supposed to follow up at home and back her up when I don't know what's even going on?) At this point, I called the principal. I was advised that changing teachers was not an option this late in the year and she would do some checking into the situation. The card-pulling and complaints continued through to the next conference. At this conference, the principal sat in. She had done observations of Ry in the classroom and out, and while she said she could see that he was a bit of a class clown, she felt he was acting as a normal 5 yr old boy. The teacher reported he was still doing well academically. I wanted to know if he was learning the things he needed to (yes), if they felt he was functioning on a normal average 5 yr old level (yes, and the principal felt Ryan was very bright) and whether he had accumulated the skills he would need to pass on to first grade (yes). When asked to back up her concerns about Ry's behavior in front of the principal, she backed right down, gave the normal formulated answer as before, and said that perhaps she'd been wrong. Yet the entire school year she made comment after comment, held him up to the other students as an example of wrongful bad behavior, and did nothing to encourage this child! Other parents reported being in the classroom to visit their children and seeing her standing him in front of the other children and downgrading him. He spent more time on the wall, according to the playground supervisor, than any other kindergartener. And he came home time after time complaining she had sent him to the time out area.
My questions are basically, if my kid was such a problem, why didn't anyone else ever see it? Two years of preschool, and multiple observations by the principal and no one had seen what she was complaining about. He's the youngest kid in the class, granted, and I'm sure that plays into the immaturity thing a bit. I know that he likes to play, and that he is ornery. He's not a placid kid. He's not, however, a discipline problem. And having spoken to other parents, they all had complaints as to her handling of their children as well. Consensus seems to be that she wants her students to all fit into a neat little "box" and when they don't, she penalizes them. She's a very rigid person, not overly friendly, and treats the kids like she expects them to be little adults.
And the average age of her students is 6.
I honestly don't feel she's suited to guide a kid through their first year of school. After speaking to the principal, I was told she's been on probation at the school 3 times for the same things I'm complaining about. She seems to have a tendency to pick out the youngest kid in the class and make his life a living hell. My goal,with her as his teacher, was to get my son through this without him losing his love of learning, and his inquisitiveness.
I'm just really glad the school year is over. And the thought of someone else having the same sort of experience as we have had turns my stomach. A child's first exposure to his school career should not have gone like this did.
And as I'm the only true voice this boy has, it's my job to make sure it's heard. I tried giving her the benefit of the doubt, and tried to be understanding that, yes, she had 25 students in the morning and 25 different students in the afternoon. And a teacher's job is difficult and not well paid and trying at times.I tried to be fair, which is why I asked for documentation, and whether I needed to have him formally evaluated. I tried to give her a break but I also needed to make sure my son was okay as well.
Bleh. Thankfully, he's still his happy, smart little self. He learned what he needed to this year, in spite of all the ick, and is heading into a fresh start in first grade. He's top of his class, is reading more than anyone else, and has all the concepts they require for first grade, so we'll see how it goes.
I'm not sure how other parents would have handled this situation. I'm not even sure if I just have really high expectations--Trevor's kindergarten teacher, same school, was simply amazing. It just shouldn't have gone that way.
Off to watch a Rugrats movie with the boys.
N.
8:39 a.m. - 2003-06-05
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