nixtress's Diaryland Diary
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Open season on Ohioans...
I'm not typically a big fan of e-mail forwards but I got one today that made me laugh.
Ready?
Jeff Foxworthy on Ohio, just a wee bit scary.
You might be from Ohio (pronounced O-hi-uh):
If you think all Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange!
You know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter and
construction.
You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.
You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candied ones.
(Got any on ya?)
"Toward the lake" means "north" and "toward the river" means
south."
You know if other Ohioans are from southern or northern Ohio as
soon as
they open their mouths.
You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine,
Tuscarawas, Wapakoneta and you know which letter is doubled in
Cincinnati.
"Vacation" means spending a day at Cedar Point in the summer and
deer hunting in the fall.
You measure distance in minutes.
Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You know what should be knee-high by the Fourth of July.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. For
example:
"Where's my coat at?"or "If you go to the mall I wanna go with."
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked.
You think of the major four food groups as corn, potatoes, beef,
and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
You carry jumper cables in your car.
You know what 'pop' is.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow.
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one
page but requires six pages for sports.
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year. You know what "cow tipping" or "Possum Kicking" is. Go here for more silly Ohio cracks. ***
Had to laugh.
N. ***
Conscious self | Overall self |
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12:48 p.m. - 2003-09-23
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