nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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Halloween thoughts

Hard to believe that Nanowrimo starts tomorrow and here I am, still without a plotline or even an idea for a plotline.

I think I was insane to even take this on. What could I possibly have been thinking? I keep telling myself to just write what I know, not to go too grandiose about it and just pick through my own experiences, etc. It's the narrowing down that's getting me.

***

My goblins are in bed, not sleeping yet. They've taken a flashlight in with them and are scaring each other with shadows and shapes and stories made up about various things in the room. I love how close they are. I love knowing that, regardless how much they can bicker, they know in their deepest darkest depths that they've always got one another.

I watched them for a time, blankets tented up, flashlight shining silhouettes through the cloth. I could hear little tidbits of their stories, and the giggly shivers Ryan kept getting. For awhile the conversation shifted to tomorrow's Halloween party, the hayrides and the costume contest, and their wonderings of what, exactly, a pig roast was. I'm surprised they're still awake.

***

My mother has always said that the women in our family have a strange sort of witchery to them. She always said that's why stray animals and stray men were attracted to her. My maternal grandmother seemed to have a built in radar for personalities. She could tell what kind of person you were just from spending ten minutes with you. And my maternal great-grandmother had a knack for all things natural. She could grow anything and everything from nothing. I don't really know what my niche will be, if I'm to have one. To this point, I also have an affinity for animals (not so much the stray men, thank goodness!), can get a fairly good read on character and have a black thumb. Other than my sons, I'm not very good at growing anything. I tend to forget to water. We all have enticing voices, and are fairly intelligent, stubborn to a fault and very connected to nature. And if one is to believe my mother, we've all had ongoing "deja vu" episodes. Perhaps it's just a romantic notion to pass down to a daughter, a pipe dream of sorts. I choose to believe it.

***

Today's weather has carried into this evening. It's positively balmy here, kissed with just a bit of a breeze. Very unusual for the end of October. And it has such an eery feel to it. Last night while following the boys, I noticed the night sky had streaks of red through it. Someone mentioned we were supposed to see aurora borealis and as clear as the sky was, maybe that's what it was. Very strange sight indeed.

***

I'm comfortable, snuggled behind my computer tonight in my nightie, feet beneath me in the chair. The television, I'm sure, is overflowing with scary movies but for now I'm content just where I am, sitting in the quiet and emptying my head here.

N.

8:16 p.m. - 2003-10-31

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