nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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Add another day on the week from Hell

It never fails to amaze me, how tangled one's life can become when they least realize it.

I went to see my Grams today, in her nursing home out the way. And I hated it. Hated seeing her there, hated the damn dinging motion detector thingie they've put under her bed in hopes of being able to stop her from falling out of her bed again. Hated her confusion at even being there. Hated the fact that she had not a clue she'd even BROKEN her collarbone. I hated her lack of privacy, the lack of her own things there. Hated that in all this time, no one else has thought to bring her things that have familiarity to them for her. At this point..I won't even say what I'm thinking. I know what would be most merciful for her. I'd just be a horrible person to voice it or even type it.

This is the week from Hell, I've decided. In the process of picking the boys up from school (as well as my cousin's child) I had to call the police. My cousin's ex-husband went off with a yelling spree this afternoon, with me being the recipient. In front of my children and in front of the other parents waiting to pick up their children. I was floored. I hadn't said a word to him, just stood there (probably with my jaw on the ground!) listening to him go off and off and off about me running my mouth...yada yada yada. What, exactly, I was supposed to have been running my mouth about was never actually said. However, it seems he's upset because I told my cousin he had been showing up at the school. How that constitutes running my mouth, I have no idea. Long story short, the officers I work with (I'm still dying from embarassment) came and took a statement and advised YellingMan to leave me the hell alone. Not only was I mortified that my sons had to see/hear that sort of thing, but this happened in front of boatloads of other parents, and at the school to boot. Trevor was sure the man was going to hit me. He was a shaking mess, poor kid. Ryan (my shortie) was angered and wanted the officers to take YellingMan to jail. And Patrick, who's father was doing all the yelling, just stood there like he was made of concrete. Poor kids.

Can this week get any worse? I'm really doubting it. I don't know what I did to deserve this week from Hell, but I promise to never do it again.

I'm beat up internally and tired to the core. I need a twelve hour soak, among other things.

I'm going to bed and not even going to end this with my typical hopeful note that tomorrow will be a better day. Tomorrow will be whatever it wants to be. I can only weather it as best I can.

Night.

N.

9:48 p.m. - 2003-11-05

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