nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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Vega and vaguer

I remember when I was a teenager, buying a tape (ha! yes, a cassette), one of the first ones I bought by myself with babysitting money and it was Solitude Standing by Suzanna Vega.

And I loved it.

"I won't use words again

They don't mean what I meant

They don't say what I said

They're just the crust of the meaning

With realms underneath

Never touched

Never stirred

Never even moved through..."

I heard pieces parts tonight, and it pricked the far off places in my brain, memories of dark and silence, after my parents had finally found their way to bed. Reminded me how music always made more sense to me than anything else then (and sometimes still now).

"Kids will grow like weeds on a fence

She says they look for the light they try to make sense.

They come up through the cracks

Like grass on the tracks.."

It was one of the first times that I felt as if my thoughts and feelings had been ripped out of me and put into words by someone who had a glimmer of understanding. And still,to me- at the ripe old age of 28, there's a truth in her words and a wisdom that moves me. And reminds me of things I want to tell my sons as they grow.

"Now I watch you falling into sleep

Watch your fist curl against the sheet

Watch your lips fall open and your eyes dim

In blind faith

I would shelter you

Keep you in light..."

---Suzanna Vega.

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I can't believe how swiftly the last four days have flown! It's like time grew wings and a rocket jetpack both!

Maybe it's because it's holiday time, maybe because age does that to you..not sure which applies here. I just know I'm losing time like people lose hairs.

I'll be around somewhere. Have a great Sunday evening and a wonderful beginning week.

N.