nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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I miss the snuggles...especially when it's as cold as it is..

What an evening this is turning out to be...

I'm going to avoid talking about the obvious (the calling hours) and instead talk about the mundane details the day has held for me.

The boys had a glorious schoolday, marred by nothing. It was lovely. I returned the plastic shapes that Ryan had five fingered discounted before school let out for break and had a nice talk with his teacher. She said his attitude was great today, that he was helpful and almost a different person. And she thanked me for his attitude adjustment..how funny! Trevor had a spectacular day, and came home with dimples shining. It's just really nice to see them that enthusiastic after a break like that.

We got take out from this new little Greek place here that just opened (not alot of variety in little A-land.) and Trevor discovered he realllllly likes baklava. Yum. And then it was off to Scouts. They got their tiger belts and buckles, and we put all their little beads on the little dohickeys. Grand fun.

The temperature today has dropped as the day's gone on, and it's really getting cold now. I can't seem to warm up. For me, I tend to be the barefoot princess and that's just not happening tonight. I'm as fully dressed inside my house as I've ever been--socks and sweats and a long sleeved tshirt and a sweater, even! And I just can't seem to get warm. I think before bed I'll be taking a hot shower to try and alleviate that a bit. Maybe that'll help settle my brain just a bit as well.

***

I miss companionship, miss the just...being. There used to be a time and a place where I loved and was loved and being in the same room was enough. And there was a time when I could tell someone the littlest, tiniest, most minute thing, and knew it meant something to them. Because I meant something to them. I loved tracing their features and watching them sleep, twining my fingers in theirs absentmindedly while reading at the end of the couch with their head in my lap. I miss the shared thoughts,goals, the shared dreams of a future together. How did it all slip away like it did? And why did I let it? The prices we pay when we quit trying or quit paying attention, I guess. What a very steep price...

The allure of that hot shower is beckoning me. I think I'll catch up on my diaries and meander off.

Happy Monday, each and everyone of you. Snuggle up to someone you love.

N.

8:38 p.m. - 2004-01-05

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