nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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I'm valuable...for taxi service.

Two whole days since my last entry--I think that's a record for me. No real excuse for it other than feeling under the weather in all ways.

I've been in a bit of a funk. I made the mistake of asking someone near and dear to me to name, off the top of their head, five things they love about me or five things that make me special to them. Dumb question, right? I was feeling pretty blue, overanalyzing myself and situations as I have a tendency to..and got an answer that felt like a slap. This person loves me because of the things I do for them and for others. I'm loved because I run everyone around, because I take care of people.

I know that I'm quirky (which I classify as good), that I'm smart and loyal and loving. I know that I have a pretty decent sense of humor, know that I'm strong and strong-willed. I'm reliable and responsible and hardly predictable. I guess I never knew the ability to drive and the ability to mother people were right up there, too.

Add in to that conversation an ache only on the right side of my throat and a nagging pain in my right ear(what I'd imagine an ice pick through the ear drum might feel like) and you've got my last two days. Maybe it's a pity party, maybe it's a valid funk...I'll do as I always do and pull myself up by the proverbial bootstraps.

Trevor and Ryan have finished dinner and are requesting a family viewing of the Lion King. I imagine in a few moments I'll find myself wrapped in blankets and children on the couch, half-dozing while watching this movie for the millionth time. At one point, we'd watched it so many times, I had dreams punctuated by the movie soundtrack. And I still can recite the movie by rote.

My Freya has been happily rolling around the floor with the twist tie from the last loaf of bread. I take the thing and make a curly pig-tailish spring and she then pounces and rolls with it. Fruit loop. Sort of like children and boxes.

I made the mistake of going to Wally World today. You'd have thought there was a national shopper's holiday announced or something. It was worse than around Christmas, even. There were crowds of people milling about, forgetting their manners, playing bumper carts and smashup derby with those cruddy carts that never seem to have all wheels working. By the time I'd made it to the pet supplies area for cat food and litter, I was ready to leave it all and go. My theory was that with all the cruddy weather we've had, today was one of the first clear ones we've had, and everyone was stir crazy and cabin feverish. Where do the inhabitants of Smalltownville go? Wally World, of course.

Ok, 'nuff of my snarkiness. I'm going to take some Tylenol and zone out with Pumbaa. Have a great and safe weekend.

N.

6:33 p.m. - 2004-01-31

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