nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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A religious experience and the mall.

I'm as close to orgasmic as a gal can get without actually having sex-like activity.

Why, you ask? I have two places I consider churchlike to me..music stores and book stores. And I went to worship today and came away with 4 new cd's.

I can't begin to describe my very strange response to music. I've never met anyone else like me in this respect. My soul sings along. That's the only way I can think to put it..and it's not any one specific type of music--it's all music. There's something so very expressive for me in the flow and ebb of a melody and lyrics. The only thing comparable for me is losing myself in a bookstore. Barnes and Noble, Waldenbooks...no real preference. I remember one of my favorite parts of going back to school after a long summer break was the smell of the books when first I opened their pages. There was something so..soothing to me. Perhaps it was the knowledge that these were solid pieces of life, that these were pages that were already written and not easily changed, not easily tossed in the air and left to flutter down as they would. The complete opposite of my life.

Now, new music and new books are the balm for any and all rough spots in my life. My escape, I guess, but more than that. They rejuvenate me, enable me to see the prose in every day life and to hear the rhythms and songs in my daily interactions.

***

I don't remember going to the mall much when I was a kid. Has it always been a place to dump off teenagers? Has it always been a place where they dress in trendy clothes and walk around eyeing each other like tonight's dinner? Do parents really feel safe leaving their children there for hours on end unsupervised? Am I getting old by wondering all of these things or simply showing my concern as a parent?

There were girls there wearing the equivalent of a bikini, traipsing around in and out of stores. The guys looked like they were stoned out of their minds. Try explaining to 6 and 7 yr old why people are walking around with their underwear hanging out. They were especially fascinated by the girls with the lowrider jeans and their little thongs sticking out the top, but for reasons that made me laugh--my sons had a conversation, wondering if the girls had been given wedgies lately.

*sigh* I hope that innocence lasts a while yet.

G'nite.

N.

9:24 p.m. - 2004-04-22

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