nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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Movement and a rant

I called this morning, not only to the school over in Mansfield that I've thought about attending but to another college over there as well, to inquire about class schedules, admissions and financial aid. Step Number One in a long list of steps that I need to climb in order to move forward in my life here. Once that information gets here, I'll be able to (hopefully) begin making some decisions and preparations in order to enroll for the Fall quarter.

Things need to change. I need my life back, need to feel as if I'm moving in some direction and not just sitting still waiting for it all to fall into my lap. I'm tired of waiting for things, tired of sitting on the fence and hoping for the best. Sometimes, I think, you have to take your own fate into your hands and shift the gears a little. That's my intent, anyway. To begin a more positive direction for myself and for my family.

***

There are a couple government agencies I'm a little angry with today. One would be Child Support Enforcement. As far as I'm concerned, and as far as my experience has taught me to this point, they're a group of ladies who sit around collecting a check and pretending to keep tabs on would-be dead-beat parents. I think they drink lots of coffee, take lots of ciggy breaks, and blow smoke up the asses of parents who call hoping to receive a support payment sometime in a child's lifetime. I think they're trained in the art of dodging, using machines as a way to avoid actually giving out any information whatsoever--computers not responding, voicemail that helps them avoid people they've already buffaloed twice, dropped phone lines and even automated payment lines! Those things are so lovely. They simply repeat back what you already know--last payment received in 1822!

If I hear one more person tell me that it's a flawed system and sometimes people slip through the cracks, I think I might just lose my polite attitude and go off on someone. Maybe that's what it takes. It's bad enough that we have parents who shirk their duties out there but now we have a system that HELPS them do it? On the flip side of that coin are the parents that are doing their damnedest to keep up and they keep getting slammed down again. Those are the people that get reamed for being one payment behind--yet the ones who are months and months behind don't even get a phone call??

I'm more than a little frustrated with the policies and workings of this agency and not understanding a bit.

Add to that agency the one that's supposed to protect innocent children from harm, neglect and abuse. Overworked? Quit your whining, get out there and do the job you're paid to do. If it's such an issue, quit and let someone in who can and will do the job. Plenty of willing people care and need the work right now.

This part of my rant today is brought about by the upcoming trial of the mom who burnt up her babies here in town. Another family that fell through the cracks, ending with two small children dead.

Where are the watchdog agencies set up to keep these sort of systems on their toes? Why aren't they catching this crap? Who said it's a mistake when a kid gets tossed across the room several times and is left brain-damaged and physically handicapped for the rest of it's life, after protective services have been notified over a dozen times and didn't do a damn thing? I call that a travesty, not a mistake.

I know all about being overworked and underpaid. That's not an excuse to shirk the duties you take on when you agree to work and accept a paycheck. Nothing in life is ever as rosy as it first appears. If you can't handle it, get the hell out and make room for someone able to.

***

Today is a gloriously sunny yet cool one. I slept well last night, for the first time in several. I didn't wake up every other hour, didn't toss and turn the whole night through. It was lovely to wake up feeling rested and ready to start the day with a clear head. It's done wonders for my attitude and the state of my mentality as well. I will admit to being a little no-nonsense today but am otherwise in a pretty chipper mood. Tonight begins my four days on and I work tonight and tomorrow with BeepBeepVoiced Girl. I'm going to change her name to CellPhoneGirl because she keeps her cell phone on and in the middle of her desk for the entire 8 hr shift. She also doesn't avoid answering it and spends an amazing amount of time with that cell phone glued to her ear while bleating at her hubby who lives in Michigan. Really--the last time I worked with her I lost count after 23 calls on the thing in just over half our shift together. She also talks to her three children (two of which are over the age of 21 and one who's almost 17) and her ex-husband, who lives in the house they still both live in when she's not in Michigan with husband number 2. It's all very complicated. Let's make it simple by calling her CellPhoneGirl and letting it go at that.

It should work into an interesting evening, at least. FavoriteCoworker took a couple days off, hence my shifts with C.P.G. and I'm hoping they go smoothly for her. This is the last month for her mom's chemo and I'm hoping it does the trick. She could use a break.

***

Happy Thursday.

N.

10:39 a.m. - 2004-08-05

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