nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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My heart's a rollercoaster and I drive like a demolition Mama.

Yesterday my Grams remembered me. I went into the home in the earlier hours of the morning, to get her laundry to wash with Gramps'. Her door was shut and so I waited outside, leaned up against the wall, chitchatting with one of the aides. When finally the door opened and my Grams began to be wheeled out, her face lit up at the sight of me and she clasped her hands just like a small child and said in a happy voice, " Hi, sweetie!"
It was nifty. She was glad to see me, knew just who I was, and we spent a few moments catching up a bit. Then it was time for me to gather up her clothes and time for her to go to breakfast. I kissed her goodbye, she held my hand so tightly for just a brief moment and then I went about my day with a lighter heart.
***
Today brought a just-turned 13 year old boy into the lobby at work, tearstreaked and shaking. He came to my window with some composure but as soon as he opened his mouth, he teared up and could hardly talk, other than to say he needed help. He was finally able to explain that he'd had a verbal dispute with his mother that led to his stepfather slamming him against the wall. When he told his mother he was going to call his custodial father to come pick him up, she kicked him out of the house and told him not to come back. Walking clear across our college town, he came to us. We called his father's cell phone and were informed Dad was on his way. The boy calmed a bit, after learning that and after seeing that no one could get inside without one of us allowing them to. By the time his father got there, he was calm and pulled together but as soon as he saw his dad outside the door, he burst into tears again and ran to him.
In the entire two hours thirty nine minutes this boy sat in my lobby, his mother didn't call to check on him. She didn't check in with dad, didn't check the hospitals, didn't call the police to report him missing. Her words, when contacted via Dad's cell phone by one of the officers, were just that she really didn't care. I was floored.
Just seeing this boy, trying so hard to keep it together, trying so hard to act like a grown up and not a kid, trying so hard just to not cry, had me on the verge of tears today. Being a mother myself, I can't imagine turning your back on your child that way. This boy felt so rejected and hurt and lost and she couldn't have cared less.
Broke my heart.
***
I ran into a rain gutter with my car yesterday. How? I wasn't paying attention. I had my mind on other things and didn't notice how sharply I'd turned the wheel while turning right and slammed KATHUNK right into it. I managed to rip a small chunk of my tire out as well as scuffing up my rim pretty badly. I think I also unbalanced my tire. It's doing this...wobbly thing. I have, in the past, had a rim that I'd bent and this isn't the same thing. It sort of feels like my tire's going to fall off when I first start to drive off. Steadies and smoothes out as I pick up speed but I think I should probably have the tire balanced, just to be safe. Then we'll move on to whatever else could be wrong with it.
So graceful, even while driving.
Hope your weekend began on a happy, healthy note. Happy Saturday.
N.

4:17 p.m. - 2004-11-20

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