nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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Somewhere, over the rainbow

The last several days have been pretty uneventful, hence the lack of updates. Grocery shopping, work, kid-tending, the usual. Nothing exciting.
Trev is spending the night with J. He's very happy about that. I managed, with the help of my mother, to get him signed up for basketball today. The whole oomph behind it was that J was going to sign up too, and then they could play ball together. After much finagling and stressing on how I was going to come up with an extra $30.00 to cover the fees, I was able to accomplish it and then found out that J's family couldn't afford it either and so he didn't get to sign up. Trev was disappointed, as the whole impetus had been the two of them together but I think he's looking forward to playing basketball anyway.
I know that it's an "extra", know he won't die if he misses out on it, but I hate, hate, HATE that he'd be missing something due to my inability to provide for him. That would wound me in ways I can't even begin to color. A large part of that is the fact that Trev is one of the most unselfish kids I've ever met. This boy will give up anything to make his brother happy, he asks twenty times a day "what's wrong, Mommy?", he spends so much of his time beign concerned for others. I want him to feel important too.
One of the officers stopped by work tonight, spent a good half hour or so just hanging out and chit chatting with me. She's a good egg. I think she just really has a tough time fitting in. Even more of a contradiction than I can be, if that's possible. Something about being Catholic and gay, rigidly moralistic and entrenched in her beliefs of black and white while living a grey life.
I'm ready for a break anytime now. Ready for something positive to swing the tides in my life. Just plain ready.
Hope your weekend is going well. Happy Saturday.
N.

11:38 p.m. - 2005-01-29

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