nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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A soul in tension that's learning to fly

Firstly, I'll start with what everyone else has at least mentioned---the chaos in London today. I feel for the families there, feel for those trapped or hurt or even dead. It's one fucked up world where you can't even board a bus or subway to head to work without worrying you'll be blown to bits and back again. I wish there were some Magic 8 ball somewhere, filled to the brim with all the answers we need to resolve this situation, one we could shake and shimmy and get the perfect solution to it all. Makes my heart hurt.
***
The boys are still talking about the fireworks. Per the norm for little boys, they loved the bellyboomers and the giant spider-like flares. Watching them live their childhood out is a gift I cherish and will for the rest of my life.
I feel as if I am truly accepted for who and what I am. I don't feel judged or as if I'm coming up just short of even my own expectations. I'm living my life in a way that I'm good with, that I can swallow with little poison. I'm comfortable in my own skin and things I've regretted in the past, I don't so much anymore. Rightfully, how can I regret the things that helped build me to the person I am now? I have alot left to learn, many lessons waiting for me and tons still to experience. I'm not perfect, will never be anything but the flawed, eclectic, quirky human I'm destined to be, but I'm facing it all head on with the best supporting cast I could ever ask for. That's a blessing, too.
***
It's been gorgeous here. The skies have been the true blue of country songs, fields green and growing, winds mild and cool. It's going to get really warm come the first part of next week but even that seems tolerable in spurts.
There's been continuing neighborhood drama, with Can'tEatAndCan'tPoop and BabyBeater'sWife but I'm content to say that I've put some distance between my family and that mess. Everyone has to live as they see fit and my version of it doesn't involve that kind of crap!
Loudonville is having their big Indian Pow-Wow this weekend and I'm toying with the idea of taking the boys down. I think they'd enjoy it and I think it would make a definite impression on them. Be a fun way to spend the afternoon. Logan is coming over to spend the night with Ry-guy tomorrow evening but I'm sure he'll be home by Saturday afternoon. Leaves the whole rest of the weekend to fill.
Happy Friday morning, all. Have a safe and wonderful weekend.
N.

2:14 a.m. - 2005-07-08

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