nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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Fluff

It's an overcast morning here, grey and wet and softened around the edges. I'm not overly motivated today, content to just tuck myself away and watch the day pass by. Thankfully, I don't have much on my plate, other than occupying Ryan until Trev gets back. It's relatively quiet, only the hum of the fans and the jingle of the dogs collar to break it up. Ryan has settled into playing one of many PS2 games with only the occasional trip in to make sure I'm still here and he's not alone.
It's funny, how he's come to depend so strongly on having his brother here. As much as they bicker and fight sometimes, it's amazing to me that they rely so completely on just knowing the other's around. I've spent a great amount of time reminding them that they're on the same team, that when I'm dead and gone, they'll always have their brother and that they have a built in best buddy. I've also tried to make sure they maintain their own spaces, friendships and selves. It's a funny little squiggly line to walk but I'm seeing, the older they get, that it's working for us. They intuitively have each other and are very close, in spite of the "flipsides of the coin" personalities.
It's what I've wanted for them---a close relationship.
Maybe because there's such an age difference between all of my siblings, we don't get on quite as well. I'm close in some ways to my younger brother but that's mainly because I helped raise him. Big Brother K and I aren't even in the same stratosphere, although I try to maintain SOME sort of relationship with him. Having my sister C around is like having one of the neighbor kids over. It's an odd sort of kinship, I know.
At any rate, it does my heart good to see my boys so close.
Random mutterings.
Happy Sunday. May you relax as easily and as well as I am today.
N.

10:42 a.m. - 2005-07-17

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