nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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Family

ThatCousin called the other night. She seems intent on re-establishing some sort of...something. I'm not sure yet how I really feel about that. I'm not sure I want to be all close and friendly like again. Is that a natural reaction to having someone go apeshit about something small or is that being defensive and jaded?
The snarky side of me thought immediately that she must have pissed off her pals and needed someone to whine to (which she did, to a degree). The less callous side of me said that maybe she's actually missed me in some way and this was her way of reaching out. I'm not sure which side to believe or trust.
In all honesty, she's always been the closest thing to a sister I have. I know that sounds funny in light of the fact that I HAVE a sister but when she's only 9 yrs old, that sort of limits what you can have in common. ThatCousin and I have history, happenings and so very many things we've been through together. I'm not a person who can't forgive. I try really hard not to hold grudges. I think it takes too much energy to hold something against someone for forever. So is that what I'm doing? Holding a grudge or just being hesitant?
This might take some time to figure out. Overanalization, here I come.
***
Trevor received his second detention of the week today. He was horseplaying with some boy while waiting in the gym this morning and hit him in the arm.
I'm at the end of my rope...not so much about the detention, which I think is a waste of space and time for a 9 yr old. It's more that Trev just seems hell bent on ignoring the basic rules the school sets up. I don't know if he's craving attention or trying me. He lost all his sports memorabilia (all 20 million tons of it) tonight. I told him that as he comes home with no cards pulled, he'll earn a piece back. If he pulls more than two cards in one day, he loses a piece of what he's gained back. Maybe that'll make a difference, an impact, something. My coffee table is currently covered in baseball cards, Indians helmets and foam fingers and little bobbleheads and...the list goes on. This boy has more sports crap. Most of it seems to focus on baseball and Indians baseball, in particular. Pray with me that this gets through to him. I'm running out of options and ideas.
***
I've started watching this show on the Discovery Channel, Dirty Jobs. It's hilarious. The guy involved is a smartass and puts himself in the most obnoxious jobs. Some are right icky but certainly informative. Makes me grateful I haven't worked some of them!
Happy Wednesday.
N.

9:43 p.m. - 2005-12-07

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