nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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Almost my 3 yr anniversary here in Dland

I'm indulging in some mega music therapy as I type this. I think I've just finally hit the edge of my patience. With all the chaos of the holidays and having the kiddos home from school, plus my sis on a fulltime basis, I'm about fried. I'm more than ready for the whole holiday season to be over with. I'm going to attempt to dismantle my Christmas tree and assorted decor tomorrow at some point, probably in the evening. That way, I dodge the times I'll be at Gramps', collecting Grams' laundry, ferrying my sister home and handling the typical kid squabbles that brew throughout the day.
I think I'm fully saturated.
***
Can you believe that tomorrow marks my third year anniversary here in Dland? It amazes me how an idea that started as an effort to hash out some thoughts and keep things in perspective became a long term chronicaling of not only the daily ins and outs of my life but a ragbag mix of everything else as well. I don't regret coming here, don't regret even opening myself up the way I have about things I never considered for public consumption. Granted, some of it has been fluff but I've addressed some fairly serious issues in this little blog of mine. And it all started with this.
Three years. Who'd have thought...
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Ave came over today, to spend some time splashing with the boys and my little sis at the Y. I'm glad we can help give him some continuity, something that he doesn't have to lose when he's already lost so much. And they had a blast. He taught Ry to do handstands in the water and had a cannonball contest with Trev and Sis. I think he's gotten taller. He's losing his "smaller kid" look. I wonder if his mother knows how much she's missing. A year in the life of your kid...that's a huge chunk of time. I can't even try to imagine. I think that would kill me. As much as they frustrate me some days, I can't remember a life without them, let alone imagine taking a year-long break from them. Sad how our choices don't impact just us.
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The New Year is upon us again. Resolutions? I can't say that I've given them any thought. I have personal goals but I think resolutions are supposed to be different from those.
I'm sort of blown away by the fact that I'm heading into my 31st year of life, relatively unscathed or at minimum, healed well enough to be able to function in a healthy manner on a day-to-day basis, all while blessed with circumstances meant to help me continue traversing Life and learning the lessons I'm set to learn. If you stop and think about it, that's pretty nifty. While I have days where I rant and rave and get thoroughly pissed about where I'm at in my life or what's going on it currently, I have to take a deep and cleansing breath and realize that I'm not where I was ten years ago or twenty or even just one. I'm still learning. I'm still making my way.
And maybe that should be my permanent resolution. To keep on, keeping on. I don't think that's such a bad one.
Happy Thursday evening.
N.

10:20 p.m. - 2005-12-29

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