nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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Kids

I called Ave's foster mom today, just to touch base and see how she was doing. She seemed to be handling it as well as could be expected but was understandably worried about how things were going to work out for him.
Before Ave's mom (let's call her Bobbi) went to prison, she'd struck up an online flirtation with a man who lives a town away from us. Eventually, she'd met him and they'd begun a rather...odd sort of dating. He had only been divorced a short time, had three small boys of his own and some chemical dependency issues. Apparently, she maintained contact with this man because that's who she and Ave are moving in with. The plan is to live in Tom's upstairs apartment in a completely different town and to transport Ave back and forth every day to the same school he's been attending for the last couple years. While I admire her dedication to keeping that stability in his life, I think she's going to find it very difficult to transport daily like that, especially in light of the fact that, because she was charged and convicted of vehicular manslaughter, she's not allowed to drive and won't be for quite some time. I'm wondering about the logistics of living in an apartment where three small boys come and go every other weekend. There are spacial issues, and the obvious ones of melding families and adjusting to a new life together. Tom hasn't ever really been around Bobbi for any length of time and hasn't spent any time at all with Ave yet they're moving in together like it's supposed to be easy as pie.
I worry about Ave. I worry that this is yet another set up that's headed for failure, in spite of her best intentions and I worry about his stability.
His foster mom said that Bobbi was late picking him up and when she finally arrived, the first thing she did was hand him a $350 cell phone with picture taking capabilities. Ave, of course, was thrilled. He's only 11, of course he's going to be thrilled. I can't help but think she's trying to buy back his affections.
Sad thoughts on my behalf, I know.
They didn't take any of his clothing with them, said they'd be back today to pick it all up. However, as of 7:30p, his things were still sitting in his foster mom's house.
I'm worried that Bobbi won't have learned her lessons, but more so, I'm worried about Ave's well-being. It may not be my business, and I'm trying hard not to judge. It just is what it is. He's a good kid and I don't want to see him disappear and have his life fall apart, because there's no one to watch out for him.
I'm going to pray like hell and keep my fingers crossed that things go well. He's just a kid.
***
As we get closer to Go Day for school, the boys are getting a little more anxious. There are new kids in each of their classrooms and they're just not sure how that's going to work. I think they're both very aware that the workload is increasing, as are my expectations of them. I have a powwow set up within the first week with Trev's group of teachers, to get us all on the same page as far as his education plan. If he doesn't get an I.E.P., he'll at least end up with a 504 and both will help him in his course through this year. They both make allowances for his Asperger's and the only difference between them is the work that leads up to them, for the most part. If he gets an I.E.P., he'll have to have an MFE (multifactored evaluation) prior to. If it's just a 504 we're facing, he'll just need to be evaluated by the school psych. and then have a meeting with his personal psych. so as to cover all the areas he'll need assistance with. Either one is okay with me, as long as they figure out how to best handle testing situation, particularly timed tests (he gets stressed out and that in turn makes him shut down) and as long as we're good on his "quirks". He needs a teacher willing to work with his need to be on the outskirts of groups, who's going to work with his limited eye contact, who's going to be able to be able to very clearly set guidelines and then follow those guidelines.
We'll see. I'm hoping to keep this as civil as possible.
***
Happy Sunday.
N.

8:06 p.m. - 2006-08-27

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