nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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My cousin Christie

Lord, the last 24 hours have been a rollercoaster bunch.
I did let the boys attend Mega Night and they had a blast. I forgot to grab the I-won't-hold-the-company-that-makes-the-bouncy-things-liable slips that we all have to sign so had to run back for them and by the time we returned to the school, they had no need of my volunteering services so I tucked myself into a corner with my book, read a bit and wandered around watching silly kids a bit more.
By the time we left, they'd run themselves ragged, between the relay races being held in the hallways, the actual blow-up thingamajiggies and the Dance Dance Revolution kicking up on the stage. They were also over-sugared and over-popcorned so it took a little while to calm down once we actually got home. However, they had a wonderful time and I had a good time watching them and listening to the laughter of a gym-ful of kiddos.
I got them to bed and my mother called. She had had a bad day and a little too much to drink (per the norm) and needed a shoulder to complain on about the injustices of her work life. I finally got her off the phone 45 minutes later, only to be awakened 3 hrs after that by yet another call from her.
The second call was bad news.
One of my cousins from my mother's side has been battling breast cancer for the second time. Christie fought it off the first time, fought it right into remission. Then she developed headaches and after an MRI, they discovered it had metastasized, invading her brain, liver, and lungs as well as re-occuring in her breasts. She and her husband Rick have been together since they were sophomores in high school and they're both about four years older than me. They attend church regularly, both are extremely active in the community (Rick coached baseball this summer and Ry's team played them.) and they're both really good people, salt-of-the-earth people who try every day to be the best they can all the way around. They have four children, the oldest being Trevor's age and the youngest just 4. Christie has been traveling back and forth between our little town and the Cancer Treatment Center of America several states away, battling this damned cancer.
And she lost. She died last night at 7 pm, at home and in her own bed.
Yes, I can say all the feel-good things: she's not in any pain now, she's resting, etc. I can also say the angry things I feel: it's wrong that a mother so young has to die from something like this, it's wrong that four young kids have to live their lives without a mother to love and watch over them, it's certainly not fair that the world loses a giving and caring person like she was yet gets to keep abusers and murderers and pedophiles and...
Those who believe in God can turn to him and believe he has a plan for all things. They can trust that there's some good supposed to result from a situation like this. I can't say, at this time, that I agree with any of that. It sucks. It's not fair or righteous.
My heart aches for those babies and for her husband.
I woke this morning and cried some more then went on with the plans I'd already made. I got all of my shopping done and even some done for my Gramps. Then I stopped in to see Rick and the kids but there were already a multitude of people there so I didn't stay.
Services should be later this week and I'll attend. I imagine that most of the town will attend.
They need to find a cure for cancer and do it fast.
I'm ready for this year to be over.
N.

addendum: Calling hours are at the same time Tuesday evening as the boys' Scout dinner. I'm going to have to be late for that in order to attend those. Funeral services are Wednesday morning. Christie's obituary in the paper was beautifully written but didn't touch what a truly amazing soul she had.

5:02 p.m. - 2006-12-09

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