nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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Sleep and surfacing and silence

I've had restless sleep the last several nights. Waking up is difficult as I don't want to pull myself from the dredges of my sleep. It's like swimming in water the perfect temperature---you just don't want to climb out.
Hanging on to the edge of the pool, bobbing with the movement of the water, every now and again sliding back under but coming up to breathe...
yep. That's my sleep lately.
I have to drag out my Gramps' Christmas stuff this afternoon. I'm trying to keep upbeat about it but I'm not really feeling it this year. Maybe because this is the first year without my Grams, maybe because I'm tired, maybe because I know people keep buying crap and stashing it in this tiny little closet, burying all the Christmas stuff so I'll have to dig things from under it all...
Once it's all up and decorated, I'll nod and enjoy with him but the process of unearthing isn't going to be so joyous.
I can't believe we have 11 days til Christmas! This month is a-flyin' by.
There's a radio station here that began playing only Christmas music on the first day of December. It's actually helped some in terms of my bah-hum-buggedness. Music has a way of altering me.
I've been enjoying the boys' grounding from television. It's been much quieter, with fewer disagreements over who's playing which game or which channel should be watched. THEY'RE not enjoying it by any means but it's been incentive for them to mind their p's and q's.
I reminded them that for the longest time we didn't even HAVE a television and I've threatened to go back to that status. They look at me like I've grown another head.
***
I'm all blathery this morning. Random.
Happy Thursday.
N.

6:07 a.m. - 2006-12-14

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