nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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Devotions

Trevor had an appt. with his therapist yesterday and we had The Talk.
A little back history: Trev sees this therapist as a means to try and work through some of the issues that are inherent with his Asperger's Syndrome.
They've been working on his assertiveness (among other things) as a way to try and buffer some of the depressive symptoms he's been showing in the last several months.
It's not working.
The therapist has recommended Trev be evaluated by the child psychiatrist for depression meds.
Part of this is because the fact that, despite 10+ hours of sleep a night, Trevor is constantly complaining he's tired. We've had bloodwork drawn and he's fine, including his iron (thought he might be anemic--common in blonde, pale people). Part of this is the lethargy he shows in dealing with everyday life. Part of it is his inability/inconsistency in expressing his emotions, both positive and negative. He stuffs things down and has outrightly said that feelings are "messy" (from the mouths of babes!).
In all the reading and research I've done on Asperger's, this is pretty typical. There are "co-conditions" that tend to follow along with Asperger's and depression is one of them. The other is attention issues, from mild to complete ADD.
So. Trev has an appointment on the 23rd to be evaluated and I get to have yet another Talk with the psychiatrist.
I'm completely torn on this. I really have concerns about doctors' willingness to medicate kids for everything under the sun. I don't want, and will not allow, my son to be one of those kids stuck on something because they don't know what else to do with him. We had a doc do that when Trevor was in Kindergarten and he ended up a zombie. The flip side of that is that I have to trust that this particular doctor and therapist (one I've felt just fine about up till now and have seen work some wonders with my boy) will have my son's best interest at heart and will make sure he won't be taking something he absolutely doesn't need.
I can sit back and see how Trev's everyday life is and I do worry about this depression. I've done some reading today about childhood depression and these symptoms are very typical of how it all manifests.
One of the things I voiced when we finally got his diagnosis this summer was a mixed sense of hope and loss.
I'm trying to hold onto that hope and keep reminding myself that IF he ends up on meds, it may not have to be forever and it'll (hopefully) improve his quality of life. Big IF, I know.
Trying to keep a positive spin here.
***
It was a drizzly day here, covered in the most gossamer mist of rain. The droplets coating everything were like tiny little slivers of liquid glass, reflective of every color available. It was gorgeous. I was able to squeeze my walk in before the boys got home and I thoroughly enjoyed it. There's a moist smell of earth and wet leaves, and the sounds all seem so muted. There aren't ever as many people out and about when the weather's less than sunny so that works in my favor.
I ran into (nearly literally, as I had head phones on and my eyes were to the ground) one of the officers I used to work with. We spent some time, chitchatting and talking, catching up. I miss my job there. As much as it frustrated me some days, it truly was my favorite position I've held. He's a bit of a flirt, but very married and so I kept the conversation short. It was nice to say hi, though.
The tail end of my walk was accompanied by a drenching downpour. Thankfully, it was nearly 50 degrees so not too unpleasant!
***
Tomorrow is Pinewood Derby Day for the boy-o's. Trev's tank got it's final coat of khaki-ish paint this evening and is drying in the garage. Ry's is a sporty little coupe and a bright, cherry red with a peaceful white stripe down the middle.
I get a kick out of the fact that they aren't so much worried about winning as they are having a cool looking car.
***
Devotion is: buying yeast cream for your grandfather because he's too embarassed to buy it for himself even after the dr. recommended it for a nasty rash on his tummy.
Devotion is: hitting the redial button on the telephone 50 bazillion times because your 9 yr old is CONVINCED he's going to win $500 by watching some cartoon on t.v. but an adult has to dial.
Devotion is: a dog who will trot along beside you in the rain despite hating to get even one tiny nail damp.
Devotion is: continuing to hold after someone has set the phone down and forgotten they were talking to you.
Devotion is: picking every tiny little microscopic mushroom speck off a slice of pizza for your 10 yr old who has suddenly decided he might die if he eats them because what if the mushroom pickers picked the wrong kind?!
Happy Friday.
N.

7:10 p.m. - 2007-01-12

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