nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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Incongruent

I survived rush hour traffic in Cleveland! With children along!
After only 4 hours of sleep!!
Go, me.
I made a run to Cleveland yesterday, carting necessaries and clothing that were forgotten in the rush and panic that comes with a loved one in crisis.
I not only found where I needed to go without one single "HELP!!! I'm lost!" cell phone call, but did so without losing my cool once.
It helped tremendously that the kids were EXTREMELY well-behaved and that I had tunes along to distract me.
Uncle is still in touch-n-go status, very critical and lucky to be alive. They've placed a stent in him running from his groin to his heart. He has 20% of his heart working and it's not even really working---they have a machine that's actually pumping the blood into and out of his heart for him, at this point, because the muscle is too weak to do it for him.
He's laid out, flat on his back and unable to sit up because of the stent and they have no plans to MOVE that stent anytime soon because of the fragile status of his heart.
Typically, they'd move it so that it ran in his shoulder and to his heart but they're afraid if they make any changes, he'll end up in the midst of another heart attack so they're leaving it alone for now.
He's on blood thinners, in order to avoid throwing a clot anywhere, and numerous other tubes and wires are wiggling their way out of him.
I asked him if he felt like the Million Dollar Man in the midst of becoming and he laughed at me.
Uncle's very lucid and coherent, although drowsy and weak. It's sad how someone who's always been such a huge personality to me can seem so small in the midst of the organized chaos of a hospital bed.
I've really been concerned about how the boys were going to handle/process all of this crappy weekend stuff. It's a lot for kids their age to stomach. They've dealt fairly well, with meltdowns only now and again. Ryan seems to be dealing with the loss of Gracie worse than Trev. He's ended up in tears at bedtime every night since it happened but the storms are a little less in strength each time.
Through the daytime hours, they've been fine for the most part.
Trevor saw his psychiatrist this morning and he's lost 4 pounds in two weeks. She's giving him another two weeks and if he keeps losing, he's changing meds. If he maintains or gains, he's fine. Behaviorally, he seems to have settled in to the Adderall with minimal difficulty and it seems to be helping...
*sigh*
seems like it's always something.
My mother's friend Mary was up from New Mexico last week. They've been friends for 30-some years, since before I was even thought of. I can't imagine having a friendship last that long. Other than family members and my ex-husband, there's no one I've known for an extended period of time. It makes me sort of sad but it also makes me take a hard look at myself. Granted, some of that is because of the nomadic lifestyle I grew up in but I'm in my 30's now. I should probably be making some sort of connection to SOMEONE, right?
Mary's a free spirit and very much a personality I refer to as "salty". She's lived a lot of Life and is honest to a fault. She's a potter (makes the most beautiful fired pots I've ever seen!) and a weaver, plays Indian flutes like nobody's business and shaved her head last year for the heck of it. She's wise and seasoned and stronger for the bumps and potholes that have peppered her road.
She's also looking very frail to me. Again, it comes back to the "larger-than-life" image I seem to have of certain people in my life. Realizing, rather abruptly, how people can age without you thinking about it.
The snow is starting to melt here (finally!). We only accumulated somewhere around a foot and a half or maybe just a bit more. It's perfect snowball snow, easily molded and holds the shape wonderfully. Wet snow, even. Sounds incongruous, doesn't it? Seems like the theme of the day, though.
Happy Tuesday-that-feels-like-a-2nd-Monday.
N.

10:07 a.m. - 2007-02-20

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