nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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It's nearly time, I think.

In a few weeks, my Gold membership will be up.
When my membership is up, I'll be closing house.
At times, I've loved AND hated writing here in Dland. It's been a space that allowed for reflection and gave me room to let out some of the things I held so close.
Something changed, though, when I went into lockdown. It was more than just losing potential readers, or limiting myself. I lost my anonymity, which made me feel unsafe. I still don't know how ThatCousin found my little piece of the 'Net and I probably never will but it made me realize that we're never truly as anonymous as we think we are. I made sure that I changed names and tried not to give too many identifying details and still...I managed to hurt someone inadvertantly.
That stifled my writing in a big way.
I should say, I allowed it to stifle my writing.
Or maybe I should just say that I don't have the "oomph" for writing that I did, at least not for an audience. I have so many things that I don't write about in here, that I keep private for numerous reasons and it's getting to me. I need the place I write to be a place I can vent and just BE, without worry that somehow, someone, somewhere will be shocked/upset/worried...
I've valued the people I've met through Dland and will most likely continue to follow their diaries, if they'll allow that. There are some very dear people that I've formed friendships with that (I hope) will last.
So. There you have it.
I've got a little under two weeks left, I think. Seems like both a short amount of time and forever to me.
Happy Tuesday, all.
N.

6:27 p.m. - 2007-03-06

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