nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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3 weeks seems like forever

Three weeks.
There are days when I wonder why I came back here, why I started writing again if I'm only going to be popping in once every few weeks or so.
The answer is that while Life is busy and seems to just keep growing increasingly so, I still need this outlet, still want this space of mine for what it is: my space.
It's my own little chunk of the world that's mine alone.
So here I am again, spewing my thoughts like some lukewarm geyser, overflowing my tiny haven.
What's new, you ask? Oh-so-much. The boys have been so active, involved in all sorts of things (good and bad).
At the last Scout campout, Trevor and Ryan got to tour caverns and visit the State House, in the same day. Ryan came home with a coonskin cap that looks cute as hell but came from money borrowed from the Scoutmaster. I didn't know they were going to hit a gift shop so I didn't send money along. Ryan has had to work off that money because it came out of my pocket and not his so he had random jobs to do around the house to earn it.
He also picked up his brothers chores for two weeks, lost television and video game privileges and was grounded to his room for two weeks for stealing a rabbit's foot from that same gift shop. Apparently, another boy connived with him to do this (although @rthur stole 3 feet and a huge plastic turtle). When I asked Ry about it, he immediately 'fessed up (kudos for THAT!) and apologized to the Scoutmaster for decidedly UN-SCOUTLIKE behavior. He wrote letters of apology to the Scoutmaster, to the shop and included that letter with the foot in an envelope when it was sent back to said giftshop.
Other than that, from what I hear, both younger boys are moving ahead and growing in their experience with the Scouts. Each campout finds them volunteering more to help, socializing with the older boys and striving to act in a more "Scout-like" fashion. Keeping my fingers crossed that Ry learned his leasson!
Mother's Day was very peaceful. The boys' gift to me was a lack of bickering for the day, which was VERY nice. I shared the day with my Trevor, who turned 12. TWELVE! I cannot believe that it's been 12 years since that sweet, dimpled boy was placed in my arms and I got my first view of his huge paws. He's turning into an amazing young man. Had a well-child physical on Monday and he's 5'1", 75 lbs and growing like a weed. The doc was concerned because he's getting a little thin, was pale and complaining he was tired so he ordered up bloodwork. Trev got to the lab and promptly passed out, right in the chair!! I think he was just concentrating too hard on what the inexperienced tech was doing (she had trouble getting his vein, ludicrous in light of the fact that even I could see it and he's thin enough there should have been no problems). An older lady came over and got it, first try and then we were out of there.
Labs came back fine so he just needs some sunshine and food, I think.
Brandon, to this point (and knock on wood!), is proving to be a fairly easy teen. He has his days, of course, but overall, I'm thinking I'm pretty lucky. Today was Immigration Day for the 8th grade, a sort of Ellis Island Simulation and he loved it. Got to dress as an Italian immigrant named Guiseppe (funny, when we're distinctly Irish!) and walked through a basic idea of what an immigrant dealt with upon landing on Ellis Island. He came home and said it was very "informative" (his word!).
My lilacs bloomed like nobody's business this year, with flowers everywhere and so sweetly scenting the air that I left my windows open even when it was cool because I loved the way it made my house smell. My wisteria bloomed like crazy too, a virtual waterfall of cornflower-blue petals. The bees buzzed 'round my house for days!
Spring has settled like a soft green blanket, pungent with every rainfall and brilliant in it's colors.
I've enjoyed even the rain that we've had because I've so missed the scent of it and the feel on my face. Nothing lulls me to sleep faster than the sound of rain hitting the wood of my deck.
Gramps is continuing his downward spiral. Some days are awful and some days, not so much. He's not so mobile as he used to be and that concerns me but he does manage to get out once a week with my aunt B, visiting the Legion to have beers with her and the other vets that hang out there.
I'm rattling along on my journey to being PTO president next year. Learning bits and pieces but not as much as I'd like! Makes me feel more on top of things and in control, I guess. ThatCousin actually showed a hint of jealousy when she heard about it---I think she's trying to figure out how me, someone she thinks of as "less than", was able to settle into a position like that before she was.
Silly, I think. I'm done playing those sorts of games with her and have distanced myself considerably. I don't have time for the drama and I've held good to the promise I made to myself to not delve too deeply into her world. I love her but it's getting so I don't really like her all that much, sad as it sounds. My life is ever-changing at this point and I'm trying to keep up with it and enjoy it as much as possible because before I know it, my sons will be grown and I'll be facing a whole new set of circumstances. I don't have the energy to deal with her on top of all that.
I'm cultivating (sounds like I'm gardening, yeah?) new friendships, have settled into a couple with some trepidation. It's odd to try to make friends when you're in your 30's. I don't have a lot of people that I come into contact with, that I have much in common with. Most people my age have children much younger or different life situations so I'm branching out a bit and seeing what falls my way.
Krissy, the current PTO president, and I seem to be getting along well. She's a different duck, a swinger in the true sense of the word and I'm hearing all sorts of entertaining stories from her. Maybe the reason we get along so well is because I'm NOT a swinger and we mesh as opposites...not exactly sure, really.
Another gal (Shan) and I are very similar, other than the fact that her children are MUCH younger than mine. It's all very tentative at this point but I figure every baby step is still a step forward, rather than backwards. I've lived a fairly solitary life the last several years, other than the boys and I think it's time to open some new doors.

Ah, well, enough for now. I need to get Bran ready to head to his dad's for the weekend. I traded off weekends because his pop's regularly scheduled time with him fell into the weekends with my holidays this month and I think he'd do with seeing his dad for a bit.
Happy Friday, all.
N.

6:15 p.m. - 2008-05-16

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