nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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Teetertotter

I came to a realization today.
One of the reasons I don't update here nearly as often as I used to is because it just doesn't feel safe.
Not since the whole mess with ThatCousin. I just don't feel like it's my own little private end of the 'Net anymore and there's a sniggling part of my brain that knows that's ridiculous because really...how private was it when I left it open for the whole world to see? BUT. It was a place that I could vent and unload my brain without having to explain it. That's been ruined for me. And I was hoping that with time it would settle back into that but it's not. It feels like a trapdoor waiting to drop again, even with the password protection.
So I guess I'm teetering on the fence of moving elsewhere and starting over...and stopping writing completely.
I don't feel completely comfortable keeping a strictly paper journal anymore either because of the boys. They're curious little buggers now and honestly, there are things in their mother's head that they just don't need to worry about just yet.
*sigh*
I guess this would be easier if I had friends to talk to. Then it wouldn't just be me, myself and I.
Crappitycrap.
Happy Sunday.

7:58 p.m. - 2009-03-01

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