nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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I can feel her affection even from this distance.

Today is my birthday. 31 years old. Ironically, I had no qualms about turning a year older. I've settled into my 30's better and easier than I thought I would. In alot of ways, I'm glad to be done with my 20's and all the turmoil and self-finding that goes on in that period of one's life.
So I was all prepared to turn 31 with little fuss or muss.
And then it all got turned topsy turvy with Grams' passing.
Today was sort of bittersweet. I know that my Grams would have just shaken her head and tsked at me, reminding me that she'd seen me as a kid with missing front teeth and scabby knees and now I have that joy with my own kids. And then she would have wondered where time has gone...and I find myself wondering the same thing.
Today was filled to the brim with activity. I had a conference for one of the boys that went so well it had me in tears. This evening was the Raingutter Regatta for the CubScouts and the boys had a blast, blowing for all they were worth into the little paper sails of their little wooden boats, wearing their hearts and hopes on their sleeves. Tonight, just a few moments ago, I finished a conversation with one of my aunts, in which I thanked her for giving me the opportunity to have the last few years with my Grams and my Gramps. We both ended up in tears and then brushed them off to talk about all the other things we needed to. I don't feel alone in my sorrow because I know, above all else, that my Grams was loved by everyone she met.
There's a comfort in that, for me.
The rest of the week is going to be busy as well. Ry has an appt. tomorrow, a check up on his asthma, to see if he needs to upgrade his inhaler or whether he's good at the current level. Thursday I have to shop for dress clothes for them, for the calling hours and funeral and I need to order flowers. Trev has a physical with his pediatrician, too. Friday I have therapy and calling hours are from 6-9 pm at Denb0w Primm. And then Saturday will be Grams' funeral.
Busy week. Maybe that's a blessing in disguise.
N.

9:57 p.m. - 2006-03-13

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