nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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Chaos and kinship

I did it.
I survived volunteering at the boys' school two days in a row.
I realize that to alot of people, that's no big deal. Those people probably haven't spent alot of time at an elementary school THISCLOSE to vacation beginning, let alone Christmas vacation.
Those kids...they're all insane. It's like being inside a very loud, very energetic popcorn popper. I swear they all feed off of each other.
Mix in a liberal amount of sugar (candy and cupcake form as well as juiceboxes) and you've got chaos. Not even controlled chaos, just plain craziness.
Somehow, in the last couple days, we've managed to make it through several crafts and several games, with as little mess as possible.
I have to admit that I enjoyed most of it but the noise levels and the lack of manners from some of the children (heck, lack of basic control) got to me after awhile.
The boys really surprised me this afternoon. They actually thanked me for being there!
I've been lucky in the respect that I've been able to be involved with their school lives on a very active level. I don't think I ever really thought about whether they even noticed I was there or not. I figured they just were used to me being around, on the outskirts and fringes.
My goal was to be there, be involved, be a staple in their lives in ways my parents weren't for me.
Looks like I'm succeeding and that makes me very happy.
Gifts come in such surprise packages sometimes.
I have to say, though, that I'm glad the madness with school is over and they're home for two weeks. I'm looking forward to spending some time with them, without the press of school schedules, Scout activities and all the other things in our lives that demand time restraints. We also need to finish up the gifts they're making for family members and we have limited time to do so. Some of them need to dry between coats of paint so the sooner we get to it, the better.
***
I'm three days from my 4 year diary-versary. For something that began on a whim, this little diary of mine has had some staying power. That, in spite of transient bouts of writing lethargy, high drama when ThatCousin found my diary and took great offense, in spite of the ups and downs of my world and my life, I've kept writing.
I've spent some time randomly picking entries and reading them and while quite a few could be categorized as "fluff", many described the daily ins and outs of our life here in ways that make me wistful. So many cover raw areas that left me feeling bruised and beaten up and others reminded me that I'm so lucky to be the person I am today.
Four years. Some relationships don't even last that long (as I can attest to). In retrospect, I can say that I've never kept a paper diary as faithfully as I've kept this online one and certainly not as detailed as this has been.
At one point, I typed in that "the layers, they are a-peelin'" and I find that to still be true.
Heading into the heart of our holiday season, I'm grateful for my comfortable little space to express whatever might float through this brain of mine. I'm thankful for the friends and acquaintances I've made through this land o'diaries. I appreciate the freedom to express myself, in whatever way or form I choose.
Happy Wednesday, all.
N.

8:51 p.m. - 2006-12-20

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