nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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The world outside is drenched in rain and I'm drenched in thought.

Too many thoughts to contain in one disorganized, blonde head.

There's a reason for all of this, right?

There's some end result that will make this all worthwhile?

Good people just keep plugging away, keep trying. Good people look beyond themselves for the greater good, for the bigger picture.

Good people get rewarded eventually, right?

It's just that today is the perfect day to spend with someone. A perfect day for cuddling, napping or making love...cool enough to keep one under wraps.

I suppose that's what also makes it the perfect day to be alone as well. The rain is lending itself to my solitary mood. It's not like I don't have things to occupy myself. I certainly do. They just don't happen to be the things I want to be doing right now. Fickle me.

Adrift on my music, it soothes me. Now some nameless piece punctuated by piano.

I feel selfish to want something for myself. I suppose that's the nature of the giver. To feel guilty to want to take.

I'll continue with my faith that this will get better. Because if I don't, it feels too much like giving up. And without some hope, there's no future. And that's not a way to live.

Is it?

N.

***

Make me smile. Go fill out my survey , if you haven't yet. Thanks.

10:59 a.m. - 2003-09-19

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