nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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Not much of an update

It's been a few days. Things here have been hectic, with working (still) at the optometrist's office, trying to get everything ready for school, getting the boys weaned slowly back into the school schedule and all the other things that fly around in my life. I've been woefully neglectful of even my own space lately and that's a bad thing. I've been wound tight as a result.
Today is the anniversary of the loss of my first baby. Fourteen years ago, I lost a tiny little baby, barely three months formed. I also nearly died because I was too stubborn to tell anyone I was bleeding so badly that I began passing out every time I sat up.
Hard to believe that I could be the mom to an almost fourteen year old right now. I don't know how I'd have handled being a kid raising a kid.
It doesn't hurt today nearly as badly as it has in the past. That's bittersweet.
***
We're just one day away from our trip to the indoor waterpark. The boys are amped, as is Ave and I'm looking forward just to being out of our little town. I'll have tons o'pics when we're back so look for them.
***
Tons on my mind. I'm worried about Ave and his mom's situation. Worried as well that they may be moving, which is the last thing I'd like to happen. Trev's friend from up the street, J, may be moving as well. His family can't handle living next to BabyBeater'sWife any longer and are looking elsewhere. That sucks because there are only a few families in our neighborhood with kids and if Ave's mom moves too, that'll take both of Trev's good friends out into no man's land. J's family is looking at a place 2 hrs away from us and God only knows where Ave's going. That's a story that isn't mine to tell. It's just really complicated.
I'm trying to keep my distance from my family, all sides of it, because of all the crappy drama.
Bah. Enough whining. Suffice to say that this weekend will be a much-needed break.
Happy almost-weekend, all.
N.

9:49 p.m. - 2005-08-11

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