nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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Rain and work and thoughts on Trev

I fell asleep to the sounds of a wonderful thunderstorm and awoke to the same. We're getting a nice drenching and I'm not complaining.

I was spoiled this week, with my time off from work. I don't want to go back. It's like a nest of snakes in there sometimes, with all the backbiting and gossip that flows. I don't really relish the idea of sinking back into the muck. I've come to the conclusion that I'm keeping out of it all, going to draw back a bit and not become entangled in it. Back to my old mantra--go to work and come home. Dat's it.

***

I'm in one of my quiet moods today. Not sad, just silent. Not alot to say, really, just lots to mull over. The rain helps that, I think. Enhances a contemplative mood, worsens a melancholy one.

***

I stumbled across a book the other day at the library, in my search for ideas to deal with certain issues the boys are going through right now. This book references "quirky kids" and reading it, I've felt like it was written for me. There are so many references in it that could be Trevor, plopped down on the pages.

Trevor is a complex kiddo in some ways, isn't your run-of-the-mill 8 yr old. He marches to his own drummer and follows his own lines. If you were to visit the boys' school at recess, you'd know immediately which child Trev was simply because he distances himself so completely from the other children. It's more than just being a loner--he's a different kind of kid.

That's not a bad thing. It's just part of him. The problematic situation comes into play as he gets older. Kids are already cruel to him at times. One little girl last year outrightly told him he was weird. It's not that he doesn't want to fit in--he does. He wants friends, wants to be a part of things. He just doesn't know how or tries too hard sometimes. And sometimes I think he just finds it easier inside himself, than trying to deal with or figure out other people.

He's an amazingly sweet kid. He's joyous and affectionate and so kind-hearted it breaks my heart to see what he'll give up to make someone else happy. I'm afraid for him, sometimes. Growing up is hard enough when you're able to streamline. How much worse will it be for my gentle Trevor?

I really like this book.

***

Happy Friday. Have a great weekend. Enjoy the last vestiges of Summer that remain.

N.

8:43 a.m. - 2004-09-17

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