nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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Schizophrenia and my family

I found out something tonight, something that made me incredibly sad and amazed at how little, at times, I seem to know my family.
My bio-dad's brother, my Uncle Jay, has three children. The oldest is Moira, the middlest is Lara and the youngest is Christian. Over the Christmas holiday, I took a million and one photographs of everyone, those cousins included, because I theorized that sooner or later, these gatherings would dwindle and I'd be left with no pics to carry through. I was showing my aunt these pics while at her home tonight and was startled to hear her comment that Moira looked really good, considering.
I was confused because I didn't think there was anything to consider.
Moira, at age 21, has finally been diagnosed with schizophrenia. Apparently, she's been struggling for the last couple of years and has just begun, in the last several months, regimented drug therapy for it. She's also seeing a therapist but not sure if it's the right one.
I was shocked---not because of the whole stigma attached to mental illness because God knows, there's enough of it floating around. At least acknowledged, someone can get the help they need. I was shocked because I never knew, never even suspected. And she's so young. I know that schizophrenia typically manifests in the early 20's or so but still...she has her whole life ahead of her. How much was she thrown when the voices started? I can't even imagine.
And then my aunt added another bit---my Gramps is schizophrenic. And again, I hadn't a clue! I should say that I knew he sometimes seemed to talk to himself, but I never put the two together. I just always assumed he was heading into the darker stages of being an older gentleman. Hell, I talk to myself occasionally and I'm only going on 31.
I was blown away.
I'm not dense but I guess my Gramps is a good indication that with proper management, it's doable to function with a disorder like schizophrenia. My heart hurts for my Mo. I hope this road for her gets easier instead of worse.
Remember me feeling like I'd doomed my sons because I hadn't known when I had them that bipolar disorder might carry down from my mother? Remember my feelings that with two brothers with it, and a mother too, that my boys were going to end up that way also because the odds were against us?
What are the odds now, knowing that there's mental illness on my father's side, as well?
I need to do some more research. As silly as it may sound, I feel stronger and more in control by being knowledgable just in case. Forewarned, forearmed, right? Proactive instead of reactive? Or am I being unnecessarily paranoid and cautious?
Where is that line?
***
Overall, the evening at my aunt's went well. Trevor and Ryan loved spending time there, in spite of the fact that ThatCousin was there too, with Pnut and Tater. ThatCousin tends to ignore her daughters and they then get into everything. Being a baby, Pnut is in a stage where she really enjoys hurting other people. Trev complained that his head hurt from her pulling on his hair all night. Poor guy. They dealt with the girls really well, though. Patience in duplicate. We had a nice dinner and the boys got their presents from my aunt and uncle. And it was nice, to just spend time talking and not rushing. A nice change of pace.
I'm glad to say Christmas is officially over!
I'm going to go curl up in my soft bed, burrito up in my comforter and read for a bit.
Happy Sunday night. I hope the week begins kindly.
N.

10:06 p.m. - 2006-01-01

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