nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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Longwinded about Gramps and busy days ahead.

Beautiful weather today. Some sunshine, some grey and hovering clouds, occasional and random bouts of rain and all while maintaining 61 degrees! I was a happy girl. Spring is comin'!
I can't wait, for the sunshine and the warm rains and the smell of the earth waking up. My lilacs and my daffodils and my wisteria and morning glories, all the assorted bulbs I've forgotten the locations of, the birds and their songs and being able to kick my sons out into the fresh air to run themselves ragged instead of me!
***
Gramps is driving me just a little nutty. I keep telling myself, over and over and over, that he's just an old man, with old man idiosyncracies. Some days are easier than others but the last couple have been frustrating. He lost his driver's license and his SS card. (Keep in mind that he's been losing everything lately---his dentures, his car keys, even his shoes--walked right out of them!)
I went over and over and over every place locally he's been, to see if I could find these pieces of i.d. for him, to no avail. Yesterday, he was incredibly anxious, because he thought that by not having the tangible proof of his driving privileges, that meant he didn't HAVE driving privileges. I think I told him nearly 20 times (not an overstatement) that he would still be able to drive. Then, when we talked to the BMV and were informed that he'd have to have a copy of his birth cert. to get a new driver's license, his anxiety skyrocketed because he just couldn't keep in his head that my aunt had a copy of his birth cert. He kept muttering about how he was in such a pickle and didn't know what he was going to do. It finally took two of my aunts going up and telling him everything I'd already said for him to calm down enough to go to bed.
I'm taking him to the BMV tomorrow.
Today, he was convinced that someone had come in and stolen a t-bone steak from his freezer. To my knowledge (and I do all of his shopping) I haven't bought any t-bones and I don't think anyone else in the family has brought anything up. I'm thinking that he was confused and had mistaken a package of pork chops for t-bones. And the package of pork chops sat in his fridge for the better part of nearly two weeks and I finally threw them away because they were N-A-S-T-Y.
I'm getting concerned. Not only is he having a heck of a time holding onto to things (his hands aren't strong enough to even manage a coffee cup half the time and I'm afraid he'll end up burning himself), he's losing time, he's forgetting everything and he's become incredibly argumentative.
I know some of it is his fear of the natural course of things. I know that he's having a tough time accepting that he's getting older, that his body isn't keeping up, that he's mentally not keeping up. I try to be understanding and caring and careful with him, yet still allow him his independence and his control. And I think, for the most part, I'm successful in that. I love my Gramps dearly and have increased my visits so that I'm there nearly every day.
Internally, I have these conversations with myself, trying to boost my patience a bit and just reminding myself that he's not enjoying any of this, either. I'm worried that my aunts aren't taking me seriously when I report the things I see or hear up there. I'm just...worried about him.
***
Busy weekend ahead. We have a birthday party to attend and little sailboats to finish for the boys' Raingutter Regatta on Monday evening. Girl Scout cookies came in and we are in munchie heaven. Monday, itself, is going to be busy.
Yes, besides being my 31st bday, it's Regatta day, conference day, chess club day for one of my boys and remember-to-renew-my-registration-day.
Whew.
Let's see..what else...
American Idol. I was shocked to see Ayla go. I would have thought that funny Kelli Pickler would be scootin' before Ayla. I think Kinnik was to be expected and the guys were pretty right on. I love Chris---hot AND talented and really enjoy Taylor and Elliott as well. My favorite girls are Melissa and Mandisa and Katharine. Those are my picks for top 6!
Survivor (which I'm having to jump back and forth between Idol with) is heating up as well. That Shane needs to go, though.
I watch more t.v. than I ever have, in my entire life. Sheesh!
Happy Thursday.
N.

9:15 p.m. - 2006-03-09

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