nixtress's Diaryland Diary

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Wonderings

It's been snowing for a day or so now, more on than off. I'm fine with it since Winter started so late for us this year. And as long as the city salt shakers keep up and keep the roads fairly clear, I'm good to go.
The boys this morning were ecstatic. All Ry could talk about was how he was coming home and playing in the snow. I hated to tell him that 20 degrees meant he probably wouldn't be out there long.
I was watching this little elderly lady and her husband today. They were so sweet in their care of one another. He seemed to be the less steady on his feet and she very patiently waited while he moved about with his walker.
They sat together, murmuring in that quiet talk that couples who've been together as long as the world's been spinning seem to, barely needing to speak to communicate with the other.
Without even asking he ordered her hot tea, pouring it for her as it seemed her hands weren't strong enough to hold the carafe.
The care they took with one another...in the absence of love, is it the same? Or is that the essence of love? When you've been together as long as I assume these two had been, does the love mellow into a vague sort of companionship or does it grow deeper over time and shared experiences? I imagine some couples stay together because they were raised in a world and a time where it was unthinkable NOT to. Does love prevail there or do you settle into a companionable friendship? Maybe just a mutual respect?
I remember watching my Grams and Gramps together and thinking that I hope to find someone to have a life like that with. They were married for 52 years (ironic when you consider he was her third husband) and even though they'd stopped sharing a bedroom years and years ago, it was obvious to everyone how committed they were to one another, how it was the experiences of living their lives together that kept them there.
I know that they loved one another. I know that, if it's possible, they still do.
Do marriages that last that long do so because of tenacity or because of devotion?
Watching the elderly couple I did today made me think perhaps it's a mix of both. By showing one, you preserve the other, maybe.
At any rate, it was touching.
***
I think this is long enough for now.
Happy Thursday.
N.

1:53 p.m. - 2007-01-25

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